are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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