just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
