so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
