How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
