what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
did i walk over a car last night?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
