Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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