We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
