Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
