you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
