Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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