i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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