all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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