Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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