You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Randomize
