if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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