New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
