HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
