On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
