i already hear my dad disowning me
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
