guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
