I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
