But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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