I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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