now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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