found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
