Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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