how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
you never un-have a 4some
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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