look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
