So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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