he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
