Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
