Sry I called you an 8
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize