I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
