Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
