He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
