69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
