And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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