Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
