I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
