I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
