State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
