Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
