Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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