I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
me + whiskey = a bad person
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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