hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
it's like iHOP with fire
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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