we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
