She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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