Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
