I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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