He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
