me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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