her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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