Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
