wrigley field is MILF paradise
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
