hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
