brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
where are my eyebrows?
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