Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
